Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Gambling hunting grounds

It all seems so Poignant
When you see Things fall Apart
To want for A Second Coming.
You think, If only you worked with precision
Life wouldn't have had this turning!

Now, there is no looking back
You Commit
You say
You try and omit
But those mistakes will stay!

How you wish you had the reins
but firm at hold!
How you wish, there did not
exist such harrowing instances
That would never be told!

If only you knew this..
There wouldn't be this turning
The year would bring a Second Coming
You could then treasure it
And never let these Things to fall Apart!
.
.
Ever again!



When I lost track of time! And lost myself!

"It's time i write again".. I think and forget.. Such is the serious series of 'failed-resolution' cyles over the years, and i am sure for years to come. However, it has never been so, that I haven't stopped and thought about something deeply and after a complete process of pondering over the incident, it would go into a vicious spiral of oblivion!

If this is the story of 2009, which was so eventful (read:memorable and not so memorable too), I pray that the happy part stays back and the unhappy part vaporises into layers beyond the ionosphere (if there exists any), for, the beginning of a new Decade, a new 'era' of life need not be as bitter as what it seems to be!

2010, the second decade of the y2k series, may have had a bumpy start for me and my family; but, being an ardent believer in the power of miracles, I would liketo reaffirm myself that TIME is the only thing that tests you, in life or in any examination!.. One thing that i learned in the last few days of the previous years: never try to race ahead of time, for it will turn your time surreally downside! Let things go on their own pace and leave all of them to survive the testing power of time!

The year that flew, has enabled me see a number of transformations in myself. From, just any other girl with sorrows of losing the ones you love (in the beginning of the year) to gaining the ones whom you cant live without as the year progressed. The foodies (read: the foo foo gang) who had The only place to visit on the streets of Bangalore was "khaau-gallis" and meeting out was read as "eating out"! I do not wish to recollect the fun we all had during college and after college, for I fear a Tear!... They say, "treasure every moment of your student life", Well said, Mr. whoever!... Because, as hard as you try, you can never bring those moments back in action ever again.. You grow old, you wrinkle, you sophisticate from the stupidity, you might even fall and die some day.. but you will never get a chance to become young again!

And what more is a better teacher than realisation of time? While talking to one of my friends, we realised that our mind sure does run faster than a 'horse'! With a blink of an eye you can recollect all that you want, but can you actually go back to them and live those happy moments again?... or get a chance to edit/ cut and never paste the unhappy ones?! Sadly, NO!... Life is short.. we should sure learn to make the most of it, however, without the cost of the life itself.

2009, was the score of my life! I was determined to reach the skies with my dreams and strive to achieve them as much as it would be possible by me. being unsure of the future for a short period of time and influenced by peer-decisions, I posted my resume and even got job offers....which I later rejected to have gotten selected in pursuing my higher studies!.. I survived all by myself in an alien city. Had numerous adventures that I feel happy about, certain misadventures that I get dejected about.. made new friends, learned the hardships of life (if I may call it so), started travelling all alone and the fun trips (that I would never forget.. well, how could you ever forget places where you go and have all the experiences captured on photographic memories or the mental as well as core HDDs?!) "A glimpse of your future" experiences, The 'dental treatments' and of travaile to bangalore!.. All this finally reached the end of the year, where I visited, revisited and re-revisited the town of weddings for the very many marriages of my cousins and then to a trip a 'new' place to call home - Bhopal!..

Very often described as a 'sleepy city', I wanted to put-in some life during the stay, which, Thanks to the devil invention of Cerf - the internet, (in the GTA lingo) was WASTED!.. I did nothing but stayed online most of the time, talking to my cousins, friends, playing whimsy addictive FB games all night long!.. Now, since all good things have to end, this bad addiction had a sad end for me. Now, I no longer go on chat clients, show myself invisible even if I am online and avoid talking to people! The only place I remember visiting in Bhopal was the Manav sangrahalay, which, much to the persuasion of my parents, I gave in, otherwise this 'vacation' would have been nothing but a loong sleep-provider to me.. a place for my hibernation till I would have woken up and gone back to Manipal on 9th!..

Things sure have changed. I am no longer the same person who came here to Bhopal, all chirpy and full-of-life, always talking about Manipal!.. The slightest thought of my 'older' self traverses my mind to all those things that made me waste time and cry for, cry against, and cry to achieve!.. If I were to be doing something,, I would prefer to be the President (and probably the only member) of the CRY association (NOT Cry foundation)!.. For, what I hear from my mother, I have been crying since the day I was born, with some minor changes.. sometimes, the tears are of Joy and at other times, of Sorrow...

As far as I can recollect, like Amir Khan's STM loss problems in the flick Ghajini, I have a STE loss... (Short term emotions loss)... since I get emotional/sentimental/lower the threshold of being sensitive at slightest instance!... Well, now... The ramblings can sure continue yearlong... but, just as I finished the previous sentence, I do get very emotional real easily.. So, Here I am.. The ever-emotional ex-scorer stepping into the world of Young Adulthood very soon in the coming months..

Letting my mind loiter a little more in the vast ungrazed field of the sensitized emotional world, I wish myself a Blessed year (Yes, I am selfish.. but for a reason)! and pray that nobody in this world would get a chance to be away from loved ones this year. May the year unite you with your family, loved ones, relatives and friends. May this year be a lesson for those who are still not serious with their lives. May the year bring in a lot of happiness and success and prosperity to the world and may People be kind to animals ...this year at least....(No!...I am not giving my wishes for the world-answer for any Beauty Pageant But,this is exactly what I wish for this year and years to come)!!...


....
Keep praying! Be blessed!